I watched the movie because Ma’am Samsel recommended it to me, but the very plus factor is it’s NINA DOBREV, my ultimate girl crush. It was supposed to be a romantic comedy, but it sent a deep message that made me reflect tonight.

Honestly, I have not finished yet the movie because I got distracted by some tasks, but I won’t let this night pass without me witnessing the final twist.

I stopped to that part when Josh Lin said that “And the only way it ends for you is heartbreak. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that love doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be honest.”

Grabbed from here.

Who wouldn’t be struck by those words?

HONESTY, indeed, is such a lonely word, because everyone is so untrue, just like what the song lyrics say… And I can totally relate to this because FOR ME being real means being naked, with all our imperfections.

How can we let those who are dear to us, see our scars, our brokenness, our being US?

With these words coming out of my fingertips while writing this article, it made me realize that I have not truly loved myself because I still cannot accept who really I am as a person. I have so many flaws that I hide. I have so many insecurities.

Just this afternoon, I received a flattering comment from someone I look up in my academic life as he said that he can see my potentials of becoming somebody someday and instead of feeling inspired of what I heard, it made me question myself why can’t I see myself with those same eyes?

All I am seeing is a lady who is very insecure about how chubby her body is, how her face is filled with pimples and scars, how she overworks every night, yet still have so many pending tasks on her list and someone who aspires to be always productive yet always ends up frustrated. Someone who wants to perfect her writings, yet ended sounding lame to her readers HAHAHA!

Just letting these things out is being REAL and the thought of making this a private post is playing on my mind, but I do not want to be scared anymore of letting people know who really I am. So, what’s my point?

I don’t know HAHAHA.

Back to the movie, yeah, it affected me so much that it ignited my desire to become true to myself. I wanted to gain back my enthusiasm before of making myself pretty that my father would say that I was so vain, because I spend so much time in front of the mirror. That was me before, but now, I can hardly look myself in front of the mirror because I am so disgusted of my pimples and chubby face with sagging eye bags.

Before, I can still recall my passion in writing, that I would spend so much time creating poems and writing letters until dawn. I was so obsessed with writing before, but there was a time when my classmate said that what I am doing are the things she hates most doing (writing and reading) and she finds those things boring that I submitted to her thoughts and maybe that was the time that my appetite to do what I really love started to vanish.

Am I still making sense? HAHAHA

Love Hard movie is not about finding love from somebody else, but it is about learning to love ourselves, the people who love us and how we should love everything about our life in general.


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